A poem of Hope critiques on improvment will be read. - Page 2

Now that was perfect!  Thanks a million!
W

chorus ? hummmm I could think up a good Hallelujah one quick. LOL

Okay, here is my final draft and I must say I like it :-)  Again, thanks a bunch.  It was a great way to keep my mind busy.
W

Hope
Hope is comforting, solid, and true, but, for me it has absolutely no value...
Once hidden in my heart behind walls safe from all fear…
I kept this dark hope silent for no one to hear...
This hope is so strange and evil to see…
I wish it would release and let loose of me…
Which way do I go and how do I flee…
These chains of hope that have hold of me…
 
Hope was so happy and pleasant to think…
A life with a man who was my missing link...
Once with our love I was happy and free…
Ah, to be blinded from life’s true realities...
Perhaps I was naive or stupid or both…
To think that my path was better than most...
Caught in the trap of your wit and your charms…
I lost sight of me and the strength of my own arms...
 
Now I sit battered, wounded, and torn….
Wondering what in the hell I’ve done wrong...
I’ll wait this long time no more than ten weeks …
Until this hope slowly leaks away from me...
You go pick out your ties and tidy your bed….
But, please, stop doing things that mess with my head...
When you call me or write me it leaves room in my mind…
This place where dark hope leaves me shattered and blind...
 
Now weakened and dazed without food for four days….
Hope has left me trapped in this horrible maze...
With the passing of days and the moving of time...
I will surely forget all of this suffering and sadness of mine…

                   Once again Hope will comfort, be Solid, and True and life will move forward beyond thoughts of you…


  Edited: Ooops, forgot, Copyright 2011 wlpool and Ruger :-)

 

Publishable!  nicely done Wendy and Deanna!

   I like it!!!...Thank you for the acknowledgement...: )

   This is good...You go pick out your ties and tidy your bed….But, 
 bbbbbb please, stop doing things that mess with my head...
When you call me or write me it leaves room in my mind…
This place where dark hope leaves me shattered and blind...


   This too....Once with our love I was happy and free…
Ah, to be blinded from life’s true realities...
 

     
  

 Once again Hope will comfort, be Solid, and True and life will move forward beyond thoughts of you…



I love the last line, perfect.

Done and Done. 
Sent it off a few moments ago and after a long break from drinking have cracked open a Dos Equis. 
Let the healing begin.  Thanks again!

Sorry you are going through this.  Personal relationships can give great joy and also bring great pain.  Often they result in complex approach/avoidance conflicts. People tend to get attached to others they feel close to and when problems and breakups occur, even though they have pulled apart, unless the breakup is violent or extremely hostile, folks can still carry a great deal of attachment.  This is normal and can create confusion and additional pain as these feelings become re-elicited through some contact. True sadness comes when folks decide together to break off a relationship through effective communication without blaming, but this can resolve over time in a healthy way through the normal grieving process. Sometimes obtaining counseling as a couple creates more temporary hurt feelings and loss but can help clarify feelings and communnication and can help a couple make better decisions and deal with those feelings, and in some cases in the long term can provide a healthier outcome. 

People are just people in the final analysis and usually do the best they can. Learning to communicate, negotiate and exchange behaviors effectively is the best solution to most relationship issues that have not been yet resolved. Relationships and feelings can be very complex and difficult, and transitions can even add to the pain which occurs when communication problems and seemingly irresolvable conflicts occur.  During this time it is usually best to spend time with family and good friends if possible.  Even better if possible is to suggest counseling with the other person making no promises other than a commitment to communicate honestly and make an honest effort to resolve issues as best possible one way or the other.  I have seen some folks do this and in the process decide that they really want to be together, and then make healthy changes such as better communication and more effort to please each other, after which success slowly occurs and they get back and stay together.  If this doesn't occur after some honest efforts, then usually at least they have a better chance in most cases of being able to resolve communication problems and become able to separate without blaming.  The hurt will usually resolve in time more completely then. The good news is that eventually relationship pain will dissipate and life will go on.  It tyakes a big person to try to resolve issues this way but it does breed respect for self and others and the pain will fade.  And if it doesn't work out, usually any subsequent relationship is even more joyful than possible before when folks deal with difficult conflictrs and feelings openly and honesty. Yep it can be painful but it can be healthy too in the long run.

For wlpool,
Take it easy... is this the Ex or the rebound-guy? The Eurythmics are great for a hurting soul. This song is for you.

     Here's to healing gals..wlpool..Red Sable...Bee...BE..and Me....: )


     Sorry Preston this is a ladies night out lol..We already lost Red Sable under the table, blondes...lol..;).