Ex-boyfriend stalking me - Page 2

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Don Corleone

by Don Corleone on 13 March 2011 - 12:03

RS, maybe that's why he's stalking her. Maybe he wants his dog back. And to the "slut" comment, just because you work with all men, doesn't make you a slut. Usually you will get branded a slut by your actions.

Slamdunc

by Slamdunc on 13 March 2011 - 14:03

I think the PPD is out of the question for Astrodog.  It's hard to find a good PPD that can be trained with "timeouts" and squirts from a water bottle. 


Davren

by Davren on 13 March 2011 - 16:03

Jim, I agree! Forget the PPD. Forget the CCW. ToysRUs sells an Uzi looking water gun. That might be worthwhile.

Jenni78

by Jenni78 on 13 March 2011 - 16:03

 Shaking my head at the whole thread...

..........have to say though that RS, what you say is not necessarily true.  While it's a good assumption and safer to think that way, I have firsthand experience that just because it's HIS dog does NOT mean he wouldn't bite him. ;-) 

Astrodog, is he doing more than putting up childish websites? Not to sound unsympathetic, but if that's all he's doing, ignore him and move on. He's a bully, and he enjoys that you get upset about it. A freak I was with ELEVEN YEARS AGO put up a strip club website and used my cell number on the site. This guy is seriously disturbed (which is why I'm not with him!) and even started texting me when my son was born just to remind me that I now had more to lose and he hadn't forgotten me yet.

So, don't think I don't know where you're coming from....truly, I do, which is why I'm saying that if you are not in true danger then don't let him bother you. There is a difference between annoying, embarrassing harassment and stalking. If you are truly being stalked, then YOU ARE TRULY IN DANGER and whining to a bunch of strangers behind screen names isn't really going to do much to change that fact. Are you really so naive as to think that if this guy is stalking you that he doesn't already know where you are? Or that if you go to the police they're going to tell him???? SERiously................

At least if there's a report, there's a paper trail.

animules

by animules on 13 March 2011 - 16:03

Get a restraining order, a CCW, a concealed carry with lessons so you know what to do.  Get off forums and websites.  If you aren't willing to do the first step of a restraining order I doubt if you would follow anybody's advice for any other helpful steps.

As Don mentioned, a female in a predominately male career is not automatically labeled a slut.

Jenni78

by Jenni78 on 13 March 2011 - 16:03

 Don's right, too. I have almost always worked w/all men or mostly men, and have been branded many many things....slut is not among them. 

mollyandjack

by mollyandjack on 13 March 2011 - 16:03

If you are really in danger...
Restraining order, Keep copies of everything he has sent you, Take screenshots of facebook messages if he has tried to contact you that way. Give it all to the police. Learn at least rudimentary self-defense....get a gun...check around and in your car before you get in...

ShelleyR

by ShelleyR on 13 March 2011 - 18:03

In my experience in PA, a PFF (Protection From Abuse/Restraining Order) wasn't worth the paper it was written on. My abuser continued to shadow me from 25-30' away for 5 wks., most often from the neighbors' home spitting idstance from mine. the cops told me there was nothing they could do about it, no violation. My best advice is to d what I did: move. In my case I moved 2800 miles away. I sleep fine now.

mollyandjack

by mollyandjack on 13 March 2011 - 18:03

A restraining order can't stop someone from being a creep if that's what they are, but it at least provides a paper trail. Moving is also great - new town, new faces, sometimes new furniture!

by hexe on 13 March 2011 - 20:03

Astrodog, while the webpage certainly is insulting to you, if your co-workers form their opinion of you based on the bullshit of an ex-boyfriend, then they're idiots and their views don't matter anyway.  If they harass you on the job, file a complaint with HR or your boss, since it IS against the law for them to behave that way, and don't worry about being seen as weak.  As long as you actually AREN'T weak, what does it matter if they underestimate you?  I kind of prefer the latter, as it gives me an edge that way. ;)

If, however, this schmuck is doing more than just putting up a rude website, you need to take alboe2009's suggestions seriously--document everything, make the police aware of what's going on and get the order of protection ASAP, learn self-defense (because guns have to be loaded to work, and even then, they do run out of bullets), and make sure someone always knows where you are, where you're going, and what time they should expect you to return. Good luck, and don't let your guard down.

alboe2009, I'm originally from Southern NJ, but moved up here to NE Michigan in 1999.  The weather is about what you'd expect from MI: cold in the winter (though strangely my folks in NJ have been getting more snow than I have over the past few years), and pleasant but not hot & humid for the majority of the summer (when summer finally gets here, which usually seems to be around July).  The economy is still on the skids, however; the only reason I made the move up here was because I work for a federal agency and was able to transfer into an open position--otherwise, there's no work to be found, for the most part, and over the course of the past 11 years I've seen two of the three major employers in this county close their doors, while the Georgia-Pacific plant that kept about 2/3 of the counties to the north of me working shut down about 4 years back.  Most of the land up here is privately owned hunting camps, which plays a role in the other economic hurdle--bovine tuberculosis in the free-ranging white-tail deer and in the cattle herds.





 


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