" LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE" - Page 1

Kids Are Quick
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find
North America ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D- I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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That is absolutelt hilarious. Showed it to my dad as well. I might consider showing it to my Form Tutor at school for a good laugh at registration. LOL.

Thank you so very much for this. Have you got any others?

Try this one:


A Really Bad Day


There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

He He He good one Hamza, thanks & send more

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this:

My wife and I were traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George.  After almost
eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take
a room.  We planned to sleep for only four hours and then get back on the road.
When we checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed us a bill for $350.00

I exploded and demanded to know why the charge was so high.  I told the
clerk although it was a nice hotel, the rooms certainly weren't worth
$350.00.  Then the clerk told me that $350.00 was the "standard rate."  I 
insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared, listened to me, and then explained that the hotel had
an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for
us to use.   But we didn't use them.  "Well, they are here, and you could
have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain we also could have taken in one of the shows for which
the hotel was famous.  "We have the best entertainers from New York ,
Hollywood, and Las Vegas perform here,"  the Manager said.
"But we didn't go to any of those shows."  "Well, we have them, and you
could have,"  the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, I replied,  "But we didn't use it!"
The Manager was unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.

I wrote a check and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.  "But sir, this
check is made out for only $50.00."

"That's correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't do that!" exclaimed the Manager.

"Well, that's too bad!   She was here, and you could have."

Don't mess with Senior Citizens!

Nice one Maggie, continue